


Mistakes Happen, Right?

by docs_pupil



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Alien Cultural Differences, F/M, Funny, Science Fiction, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 11:54:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7891066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/docs_pupil/pseuds/docs_pupil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Read the title, it speaks for itself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

"No, don't," the Doctor yells at Jamie and Zoe.

Jamie and Zoe take a bite of the food set out.

He runs over to them. "What did I tell you?!"

"No' tae ge' in trouble," Jamie answers through a mouthful.

"We're only eating," Zoe angrily says. "Don't make a scene."

"You two just got married!"

They spit out the food in their mouths.

"You're kidding," Zoe nervously retorts.

He shakes his head. "This season is of love. If you offer one food before a priest, you've married them.”

The people around them cheer as they all turn to look.


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're getting to the place they want to be, but will they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author’s Note: Follow up installment to my first "Mistakes" story. Thank you peoples that suggested a sequel.)

Zoe and Jamie hurry to the priest roving about the great hall.

“Excuse me, but we don’t want to be married.”

“Why not,” the priest asks.

“Because Jamie is just a companion.”

“Then you should be wed. You are familiars.”

“But you’re mistaken,” Zoe complains, as he proceeds to walk away.

The priest turns to the two travelers, looking them in the eyes. After a solemn nod, he gestures for them to follow.

They walk to a large tent at the entrance, where the priest tells them to wait outside while he goes in.

Jamie and Zoe wait patiently until he finally comes out with a scroll in his hands. “Follow these instructions and the marriage will be nullified.”

Zoe takes the scroll, and they both hurry back to the Doctor.


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Divorces are usually messy, but that's usually on Earth, right?

“Have you gotten the divorce,” the Doctor fretfully asks an arriving Jamie and Zoe.

“Th’ priest said we had tae follow these instructions if wanted tae,” the Highlander points out as Zoe opens it for all to read.

“Oh no!” Zoe stares wide-eyed at the document in her hand.

“Oh my,” the Doctor exclaims, reading over her shoulder.

Jamie stands by the Doctor looking over his shoulder to see what’s wrong. “Th’ lassie must do wha’,” he questions out loud after trying to read the long-winded wording on the worn paper.

Zoe explains it to him.

“Doctor,” he protests afterward.

“Oh dear, oh dear!” The Doctor nervously frets with his hands. “Oh, do forgive me, Jamie and Zoe!”

“Y’ really fouled up this time, Doctor.” Jamie angrily prods the shoulder of the old man. “Now wha’ ‘re we tae do?”

“We could simply follow their law,” Zoe seriously suggests, rolling the offending document closed.

“Nae! Ahm sorry, Zoe, bu’ Ah cannae ever do tha’ tae y’.”

“But all I need is a sample of your DNA, Jamie, and I can do the rest.”

“Oh, aye! Is tha’ wha’ y’ call it!” He folds his arms across his chest in an act of defiance and irritation.

Zoe huffs an irritated breath, rolling her eyes.

The Doctor chuckles merrily. “I believe you misunderstand what we’re saying, Jamie–“

“Nae, Doctor, Ah couldnae misunderstand a thing such as tha’.”


	4. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Try explaining how to make a baby without two parents.

Jamie hurries into the TARDIS, covering his ears to Zoe’s incessant reasoning on why they should have a child. He finally gets fed up with it and raises his voice to her. “Nae Zoe! Ah willnae dishonor y’ merely b’cause o’ betrothal!”

“Dishonor me?” Zoe pauses in argument to think. “Oh, you mean take my–“

“Lassie! D’nae say such a vulgar thing!”

“What? Virginity?”

Jamie blushes a little. “Aye.”

She grins at his modesty, laughing heartily on the inside. “Oh Jamie, I’m not a virgin anymore by your standards. Besides,” she points out, following him as he walks away. “Being a virgin is a spiritual state, not a physical one.”

The young man makes a slight face that reflects his inner turmoil of morality against desire. He finally comes to a conclusion after a minute of wrenching at his room door; finally deciding it’s locked. Jamie looks her straight in the eyes, placing his hands gently on her shoulders. “Be i’ o’ body ‘r immortal soul, Ah refuse tae dishonor y’ against m’ morals.”

“Well, I was trying to explain that sex is no longer necessary for conception.”

Jamie’s brain stops all thought. “Wha’?”

“All I need is a sample of your DNA, Jamie, and I can do the necessary procedure.”

The young man blinks, his brain stopping in mid-thought. “Ah d’nae ken wha’ y’ ‘re speakin’, lassie.”

“Let’s go talk with the Doctor, and he might be able to explain it to you, then.”

* * *

“Doctor,” Zoe prompts as she walks into the console room with Jamie behind her. “Can you explain something simply to Jamie please?”

“Why certainly,” the Doctor cheerily answers prying his attention away from his work on the console.

“Can you explain to Jamie how a child is made without intercourse?”

“Is this about the circumstances pertaining to your marriage?”

“I’ isnae true, lassie, a bairn mus’ have a man and woman t’gether,” the young man says, as sure as he can humanly be at the moment.

“Actually, Jamie, Zoe is right,” the Doctor points out.

“Wha’?”

“Well…centuries after your time, humans learned how to have children without physical intercourse.”

Jamie narrows his eyes skeptically. “Y’ both ‘re pullin’ mha leg.”

“It’s true, and I can show you exactly how.” Zoe drags him by the hand to the nearest laboratory, as the Doctor follows after.

* * *

Zoe directs Jamie to sit on the nearest stool while she goes about the laboratory looking for something in particular.

The Doctor picks up a large syringe, tapping Zoe on the shoulder.

Zoe takes it from him asking him if this is the better way to go about having a baby.

Jamie listens to them go back and forth, the Doctor waving around a syringe, and Zoe holding a plastic cup in her hand, as they fight with their big, scientific words about eggs and samples and injections.

Jamie got kind of hungry thinking about eggs. He didn’t get to eat much after their marriage ordeal.

“Oh, alright, we’ll try it your way first.”

As he suspected, the Doctor caved to her words.

She smiles, going over to Jamie. “Here.” She hands him the plastic cup. “Fill this, Jamie.”

He skeptically holds the cup in his hand. “With m’ life blood! Nae!” The young man slams it down on the counter to his right.

Zoe laughs at his ignorance. “No not your blood, your–“

The Doctor puts his hand on her shoulder, cutting into her sentence. “Allow me to explain instead, Zoe.”


End file.
